The Beginning of Another's End

If you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.
                                                                                         Romans 12:8 (the message)

I was the baby of my family. I didn't have a younger sibbling to look after or take care of. Growing up, I didn't have a care in the world. I would wake up, go to school where I always had many friends, come home and play with even more friends from my neighborhood. I always had more then enough food and snacks. I would go to gymnastics, or cheerleading, or choir, or swimming, or piano lessons. My mom would take me shopping for the funnest toys or the cutest clothes. I was in church every Sunday and Wednesday. I was involved in school or church competitions which gave me the opportunity to travel all across America. My parents were awesome and I am very grateful for the life that they gave me.

Hannah embracing the changes outside

Then BAM! Life changed in the course of a few days. If you have kept up with me lately you would know that me and my husband, Josh gained temporary custody of his two little sisters. Sarah and Hannah have lived with us since September 17th of 2010.

I don't know if you noticed it, but while I described my childhood I said "I" a lot. That was how life used to be for me. No cares, no worries, only a self-centered series of decisions to shape a life that I thought was somewhat decent. Maybe in some eyes my life before this substitute parenthood was good. But my eyes have opened up to LOVE and what it really means to LOVE. I'm not perfect. This has been the hardest thing that I have gone through and there have been times that I failed miserably. Honestly, I got extremely irritated and depressed. But each morning God gave me was a new day to start over fresh without failure or negativity. I have had many new days to hug these girls, to love on them and hear them laugh and watch them grow.

God has given my mother-in-law a new morning to start over fresh without failure or negativity too. The girls will be moving back in with her this weekend...

I just had a moment of writers' block. And I think I know why.

People keep asking Josh and I how we feel about the girls moving out. We say that we are sad to see them go but excited because we can have our newlywed time that we've missed out on. I have been looking forward to this time for a very long time now. But as I take a step back to look over this past year, I'm starting to struggle with the idea of letting them go too. Sarah came home from school in tears. I held her and let her cry for a while. I wanted to tell her that she could stay as long as she wanted and that things don't have to change again. But I have to face the truth too.

Sarah's last day of school with her buds

Changes happen. We look at most changes as a bad thing, but really it's never a bad thing as long as God has control. So the girls will move back to Midland. In a couple months Josh will go to Afghanistan. I will have an empty nest but I know it will be ok. I have surrendered every part of my life to God. I understand that I have no control over what happens in my life or anybody else's either. So I will continue to live this life that God has given me with a smile on my face.